Some mixed feelings ...!

 A busy life

       Just today, I have some mixed feelings. I can not describe my mood this time, both sad and disappointed about myself. I always want to learn and do something but I am an extremely lazy person. Seemingly, I forgot my target to take a master exam. Although my parents never support me to take exam and study more, I always wanna to try. I almost don’t learn any knowledge for exam and especially, an difficult subject – Chinese, which I know nothing. It’s rather challenging for me, and I feel scared of doing Chinese test in exam. I have to learn Chinese again at the beginning lessons. I consider myself that I can’t take M.A exam in September this year, and then taking another exam in March next year. However, when hearing from my friend about the register of taking M.A exam, I feel very sad and disappointed about myself. I want to cry much and then disappear in this life. I’m truly a worthless person.

       I have already got a bad news from my mother. Feeling very sad when hearing that my father gets an working accident while doing in a field. I can’t imagine so bad situation like that. I want to come back my home right now, but I still must work tomorrow, and just can return after finishing my work at 4.30 P.m. I feel extremely worried about my father’s status. I remembered that last time my mother also had to go to hospital to have an operation but no one talked with me about this news. When having heard from my relatives about my mum’s disease, I could not stop my tear and cry much. Indeed, I feel very painful in these situations.

          A week has gone away so fast that I can not imagine. After finishing my working in company, I still continue doing as tutor everyday. I think that when I am busy with working, no time for me to think about sad things in my life any more. Last time, I came back from my company early, no friend to talk and no place to go, I just rode motorbike around my city to kill time, and then felt relaxing to come my room. Since doing as a tutor, my life becomes more joyful, especially when discussing the lesson with my pupil. Luckily, I get some good information from my pupil, he is going to take an exam to become an official position in provincial departments. He suggests me to try in this exam , but I have not got my graduation certificate. I don’t understand why my friends in other universities also get this certificate, but we always have to wait for a long time. It is unmeaning time for waiting. I always wanna to try in this official exam, what I should do now, just wait and wait for…I feel extremely hateful with this way.

        Today, I want to go to bed early and be longing for tomorrow coming soon. Thus, I can come back my hometown as soon as possible, I feel very worried about my father.. Goodnight someone!

       

A tearful day !

              It’s so hot today even sitting in office with an air condition. I have worked for 3 months, got some experience, and learned the way to work well in company. But the working environment in company is very complicated. Last time a customer asked me to open her facebook and showed her the way to tag some photos. Sometimes, she gets some trouble with something, I always help her even get medicine for her when she has stomachache. Unimaginably, she told my manager that I myself open her computer to do something without her permission. I don’t understand why she can tell a lie even I help her many things. Just feel her like an awful person, I don’t want to work with her anymore. From now on, I must bear in my mind that should not believe any one in life except for my parents and siblings.

              Luckily, my manager asks me to work for the other customer. Many new things, I have to learn. My manager forces me to learn and remember many knowledge of garment in one day. I feel extremely pressure. I don’t understand why I can’t stop my tear when she talks some hard words with me. Today is the first time I cry in front of my colleague in company. She actually gets some misunderstood things with me. She always feels uncomfortable when sometimes I have to work off at least two days to go my university. I also don’t like her attitude. Indeed, it’s so hot that someone can become angry with others.

              At this time, I actually don’t want to work there any more. There have many awful things in a working environment in company. Moreover, I don’t want to work for any foreign company, they always force u to do like their way. Just always have to work whatever they want. I extremely don’t like this working way. I have to wait a long time for TAV Company because they still take interview many candidates and at last choose the good ones for the second interview. Luckily, I have a chance to take the second interview. This interview may be very difficult and challenging to me. I always want to change my working environment and get high salary. Thus, I will prepare something carefully to make my wanting things.

A crazy working day...

        

      

        

          Every week, I am always longing for a nice weekend day to come back my hometown. Today I feel extremely tired and angry with customer in company. My working is to go with customer and help her do something everyday. She is so fastidious person. Sometimes, when she becomes angry with others, she also makes us more uncomfortable. Moreover, she also gets angry with us even we don’t make something wrong.

         Until now, I feel extremely mad with her. Every Saturday, everyone in company can go home at ruled time, no work overtime. However, customer forces us to work overtime until nearly 9:30. P.M. Thus, my plan to come back my home can not do. Feeling very tired, stressed and uncomfortable with her working way, I don’t want to work with her any more. Evenly, my colleague has to burst into tear when being fed up with customer’s attitude and her husband’s. He not only does not sympathy for her coming late, but also always calls and talking many annoying words with her. Having to work overtime to a person, who has your own family, is uncomfortable. I still wait for company, which I took interview some days ago. This time I actually wanna to change the working environment.

         I ride motorbike on a dark road through industrial zone, feeling afraid of bad things. Luckily, I come back my room safety. But no one stay at my village, they have come back their hometown. I become more sad and lonely, when only I stay here. I even scared of ghost or awful things. Being very tired and sad, I hate my present life much. Everyday, going to work, and then coming back my room to face with 4 walls. I don’t want to work far from my home any more. I want to become an E teacher, to live with my parents and play with my siblings. Just a simple life I desire, but cannot become true at this time. It is rather difficult to apply  for a job as an E teacher. No other choice, I still have to work in company at present time. I may be change my job in near future. Let’s smile and have a nice Sunday with a long sleeping!

  

        Hope to wake up on tomorrow morning with fresh air and special coming news!